The Journal of sofaorloveseat.
Wasting away. 08-15-07 14:09
My summer has been least expected. But now its over, time to say good bye to all my summer-time pals and get focused on the bane of my existence. School.

As I mull over the coming minor obstacles that riddle my life so intensely, I run into something much greater then my silly inconveniences.

I know someone who just lost someone. Through relation they weren't super close but rather like pen pals. Friends through their parents. She isnt the first person who died, nor will she be the last.

I just come crashing back towards reality that Ive never had someone taken away from me. Not one person that I was remotely close with. I am sooo blessed, beyond comprehension. Sure Ive had a few close calls, but nothing happened. A sprained elbow, a long recovery.

I just feel ridiculous when I complain about school, or my friends , or my lack of a love life when there are so many more deep things to worry about.

But I guess my resolution is this, if we don't go on then we cant heal. And coping with the silly things can really make a difference with the big things.

Well thats it. Thanks Harry Potter, solitude and the internet.
Really? 08-10-07 16:19
I cant take much more of this.

Hes a loser.

I need some space.
I made this so I can expand my blogging horizon.

My summer has been nothing that I expected. I had a Prom faux pas, and then I thought after this, things will be bad ass!

Yeah thats a no.

I am so insecure of my friendships! I think its because... I was kinda in love with my best friend. Not my real best friend, you know that single person that will be there forever, but my next best thing.
We talked every night on the phone, half because they were dating one of my other friends. I know, bad to be in the middle and develop feelings, yeah I learned my lesson. But after they broke up we were still tight.I was the go-to! I knew their schedule, they knew mine. Out of town trips seemed twice as long. Nothing sexual ever happened, not that it didnt cross my mind every 5 minutes we were together.

Now, we are not as close, rarely talk on the phone, they have a significant other and is best friends with one of my friends. I just feel soo stupidly used.

This whole situation is shitty, and I am just waiting to find a new group and make them feel as slighted as I have felt all summer.

I shouldnt be this bitter. I kinda just needed to vent it somewhere. Thanks.